MEETUP.COM OR MATCH, OF COURSE
Unless you prefer eHarmony.com or Chemistry.com. Neither was a good choice for me. After an hour and a half of answering questions on eHarmony, I was blurry-eyed. It was a “free” weekend and I just wanted to check the site out. By the time I finished answering and writing my life history, the free weekend was almost over. They sent me 4 matches over 2 days, and there is no way to search for yourself. One of my favorite customizable “matching” criteria was height. The question just asked for my height (I’m 5’5”), then asked me to rate how important that is to me. Huh? Well of course it’s important to me, it’s....me; and it’s even more important when I’m looking for jeans with a 34” inseam. Whether or not it’s important to someone else might have been a better question, or how about how I feel about my match’s height. I also think there should be an addition to all female height-related questions. I’m 5’5” barefoot, 5’8” in heels, and yes that’s very important to me. Needless to say, my matches were all shorter than I am. I’m sure they were very nice gentlemen, but I also have nothing in common with someone who hasn’t read a book since high school. This isn’t a judgement thing, I was “shopping” after all. If I went to a store looking for a white silk blouse and I was shown only green t-shirts, I’d probably say thank you and go to another store.
There was a questionnaire here also. The questions were geared more to what I like and don’t like, rather than an analysis of my moral code. Match does send you matches every day, the “Daily 5.” There is also a sidebar where they let you know what criteria you’ve matched on: “He also has children that live away from home.” Unless his name is Rod Stewart, I hope so. We are over 60.
I quickly figured out the search process. It was fun looking. A photo is a must if you expect anyone to take your profile seriously. I didn’t have one, and I’m the person terrified to have name or photo anywhere. Out came the digital camera and an afternoon of self-portraits. I ended up with the camera on a ladder using the time-delay setting. The biggest difficulty came from putting my reading glasses on to read the camera and remembering to take them off before it snapped. Lots of shots of me in glasses. It did give me an idea for my homepage, so I used the same photo for my website and Match. Match got the photo before I Photoshopped paint spatters all over me and the glasses. I really wanted to use the paint-spattered version, but I was trying to keep my contrary nature in check.
The following weekend, I took my camera shopping. Dressing rooms are great for full-length shots. Quick and much less anxiety-prone. Next time I’ll use Macy’s dressing rooms...better lighting.
I have not met anyone in person yet, but I have had some really nice email conversations, and there are a few interesting men I would like to meet. Whether or not they are interested in meeting me is still up in the air. There are also an unbelievable number of loonies and scammers. The other day, after a brief IM chat, I received one of the most beautifully written letters, ever, from a guy resembling an older Josh Brolin (for all I know, maybe it was a photo of JB.). Of course nothing in the profile made sense with anything this man had to say, but I enjoyed reading the email for a full 24 hours before cutting this conversation off. No point in waiting for the “send a check to Nigeria, I need surgery” request, but it was fun pretending the letter was real for a bit.
A site where you can find groups of people with shared interests. Not necessarily a dating site. Did you know there are Feral Cat Meetups? Lots of them, all over the country. If feral cats can find friends and conversations, I should be able to also. In my area I found: baby playgroups, a quilters’ group, a paranormal research group, a metaphysical group, and of course, a single-parents group. I broadened my search area. About an hour away, there are a number of artist or creative groups listed. After reading further, I find they; 1) have 3 members, or, 2) haven’t had a meetup in over a year. Makes sense to me. I’m a loner looking for a group of loners. “I refuse to join a club that would have me as a member.” Groucho Marx.
- For reference, if you wish to check these out yourself: